Once upon a time you moved out of your hometown and started life elsewhere. Maybe the move was supposed to last only a few years. Or maybe it was supposed to last a lifetime. Either way, it felt like the best choice at the time. Now, many years later, you are considering moving back to your hometown. You might not be sure whether to go through with that or not, whether that is a good choice, or you simply don’t have a choice. Nowadays, lifestyle costs often surpass one’s budget and moving back home can help remedy the situation, so it might seem like the only choice. Either way, when moving back home, you don’t know what to expect. Come on, chin up, it isn’t so grim after all!
Moving back to your hometown means enjoying everything you once loved!
Whether you loved living in your hometown or not, you have certainly sometimes been homesick. So, when you relocate home and stand on the street of the town you know like the back of your hand what are is the first thing you do? Remember where you had your first kiss? Remember the feeling? Now you can reminisce whenever you feel like it! Know that place you went to when you cut class with your best friend that one time? You can go there again, but this time guilt free! Oooh, and the smell of your favorite food! How on Earth have you lived without it for so long?! And your favorite cafe is still there! And the old lady that waved hello every day you passed her by on your way to school. In a way, it all stayed the same. Or has it?
It starts to sink in — you are back home
And then you start to look around — what is still there? And what’s not there anymore? Some of the buildings have changed, some have stayed the same. Even the grocery store is where it was. And the cashier lady that used to give you an extra piece of candy when you were shopping with your parents, just has a few new wrinkles on her face. Then you start running into your friends. And those friends who were not exactly your friends, but they thought they were. Then come the questions. Followed by the small talk. Oh, gosh the small talk. “Hi there, big shot, how’s the big city been treating you?” “How come you are back home?” “Is everything ok?” “So, you didn’t like the city, ha?” And even if you wanted to come back home, and were not forced by circumstances, you do not necessarily want to discuss it with every single person, let alone if they might be picking a scab.
Moving back to your hometown or moving back in your old patterns?
Moving back home, especially if you move back with your parents, might trigger some old patterns. You might start leaving the dishes in the dishwasher or forgetting to fold the laundry. You might even start getting annoyed by your parents. Or all the relatives that seem to always be there with their questions, opinions, and stories of their children who already have children and had just gotten a promotion. You might regress to your teenage self because of all the reminders. Moreover, you just might lash out because, even though you are back home, you feel like an outsider. This is certainly not what you might expect and surely something you should snap out of.
How to make the situation feel good
Nevertheless, if you are moving back to your hometown you should make the best of the situation! Don’t skip on the following things, as they might just be the “spoonful of sugar” that makes it all better:
- Make time to reconnect with family and friends – There are so many friends, acquaintances, and cousins you have not talked to in forever! And you used to love chit chat with them and have certainly missed them. Now you have all the time of the world to catch up.
- Set boundaries with your parents and relatives – What brings you more stress than smiles is when you don’t see eye to eye on what is okay now that you are a grown person and what is not. If you have some pet peeves, just say them upfront – whether it is something as small as – Don’t drop by unannounced, or something bigger, remember that a nice word can go a long way.
- Find a job – You never know what your hometown has to offer now that your knowledge and experience has grown, so start looking for a job as soon as you move.
- Explore the town – Get familiar with the town all over again. You can even try to be a tourist in your town for a while. Maybe you will see all the beauties it has to offer you might have foreseen.
Moving back to your hometown to start a family
However, sometimes the relocation is not a necessity. Sometimes you made this decision happily because you are considering starting a family, or raising the one you have in your hometown. You want to raise a family with all the support and warmth you once felt. And in this scenario, you might be moving back to your hometown with a partner, or just moving in as a couple for the first time, and then it is a whole other story. You get to share your memories and create new ones together. And maybe you will finally be able to enjoy the feeling of buying your first house that is close enough to your parents’ house so they can help out, but far enough for you to still have separate lives.
Don’t forget about the good parts
Even though it might be a roller coaster of emotions, eventually things start to fall into the right places. You can finally enjoy the company of your parents, unburdened by your immaturity. In fact, you have all missed each other and now you can laugh, and talk, and be closer than ever. You rebuild old bridges, have drinks with friends, know your neighbors and feel like home. So, moving back to your hometown might not be so bad after all!
